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Pi Day Jokes (26)
 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Top Pirate Jokes)
 What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?… Pi! (Find a U.S. math teacher who tutors!)
 What is the ideal number of pieces to cut a pie into?… 3.14
 Mathematician: “Pi r squared” Baker:” No! Pies are round, cakes are square!
 How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie?… 3.14.
 In Alaska, where it gets very cold, pi is only 3.00. As you know, everything shrinks in the cold. They call it Eskimo pi.
 The roundest knight at King Arthur’s was Sir Cumference… He ate too much Pi!
 What is the official animal of Pi Day?… the PI – thon!
 The worst thing about getting hit in the face with pi is that it never ends.
 Never talk to pi. He’ll go on forever.
 I just saw the movie American Pi. I gave it a rating of 3.14.
 What is 1.57?… Half a pie
 What do you get when you cut a jack o’lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi! (Top Halloween Jokes)
 What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Moon Pi.
 What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Pi in the sky.
 What was Sir Isaac Newton’s favorite dessert?… Apple pi!
 What do we get when we take the object and order the rim by the diameter?…Pi in the sky by and by.
 What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?… Pi a’la mode.
 Come to the nerd side, we have pi!
 How far can you recite pi?… Cherry, Apple, Pecan, Blueberry…
 What famous private investigator solves math problem?… Magnum PI
 What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter?… A cow pi.
 A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identicalrubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything theywant to measure it, and have all the time they need. The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by fourthirds and thereby calculates the volume.The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures. And the engineer? He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up.
 Albert Einstein‘s birthday was on Pi Day — March 14, 1879. Perhaps he served pie for his birthday instead of cake.

What do you get when you take a native Alaskan and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Eskimo pi.

Several Experts Several experts were all posed the following question: What is pi?

The engineer said: “It is approximately 3 and 1/7″

The physicist said: “It is 3.14159.”

The mathematician thought a bit, and replied “It is equal to pi.”

A nutritionist: “Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!”
 Why should you never mention the number 288 in front of anyone?… Because it is too gross (2 x 144 – two gross).
 How is the moon like a dollar?… They both have 4 quarters.
 How can you add eight 8′s to get the number 1,000? (only using addition) A: 888 +88 +8 +8 +8 = 1,000
 How many eggs can you put in an empty basket? … Only one, after that the basket is not empty.
 Where can you buy a ruler that is 3 feet long?… At a yard sale
 When things go wrong, what can you always count on?… Your fingers.
 What coin doubles in value when half is deducted?… A half dollar.
 Why are diapers like 100 dollar bills?… They need to be changed.
 What goes up and never comes down?… Your Age
 Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches long?… Otherwise it would be a foot.
 Why do they never serve beer at a math party?… Because you can’t drink and derive…
 Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?… Because it had more cents.
 Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8(ate) 9
 What is a proof?… Onehalf percent of alcohol.
Geometry Jokes (33)
 What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of mount everest?… A highpotinuse
 What do you call a crushed angle?…. A Rectangle (wrecked angle)
 What did the baby tree say when it looked in a mirror?… GeeOmATree.
 What do you get when you cross geometry with McDonalds?… A plane cheeseburger.
 Why did I divide sin by tan?… Just cos.
 What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?… A line.
 Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?… because it was over 90 degrees.
 What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?…
 Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector.
 What did the acorn say when he grew up?… Gee, I’m A Tree!
 Why does nobody talk to circles?… Because there is no point!
 What do you call an angle which is adorable?… acute angle
 What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?… Hexagon
 Who invented the Round Table?… Sir Cumference.
 Which triangles are the coldest?… Icesosceles triangles.
 What do people who whine a lot and 3 points have in common?… They are both coplaners
 How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie?… 3.142
 What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry
 What do you call people who like tractors?… Protractors
 Why were the similar triangles weighing themselves?… They were finding their scale.
 Why won’t the circles invite the ellipses over for dinner?… They are too eccentric.
 Why did the 306090 triangle marry the 454590 triangle?… They were right for each other.
 Why is a geometry book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
 Why is Ms. Radian such a good reporter?… She covers the story from every angle.
 Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?… His parents wouldn’t cosine
 Where do circles, ellipses, hyperbolas and parabolas like to hang out in the summer?… Coney Island.
 Why didn’t the chicken cross to the other side of the inequality?… It couldn’t get past the boundary line.
 Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jackolantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi
 Why was the parent function upset with its child?… It was stretched to its limit.
 What is a proof?.. Onehalf percent of alcohol.
 Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
 What did one geometry book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
 What do you call a broken record?… A Deccagone
 Why do they never serve beer at a math party?… Because you can’t drink and derive…
 Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it? It’s too cubed.
 What’s the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?… A natural log cabin!
 What is the first derivative of a cow?… Prime Rib!
 What is the value of the contour integral around Western Europe?… Zero. Why?
 Because all poles are in Eastern Europe!
 How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?… “I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”
 What is polite and works for the phone company?… A deferential operator.
 Why was the parent function upset with its child?… It was stretched to its limit.
 Did you hear the joke about the statistician?… Probably
 What wild animal is good at calculus?… The tangent lion.
 Why is a calculus book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
 Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?… He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.
 Why was the function so bent out of shape?… It’s regression model was too tight a fit.
 What is the integral of log cabin d cabin?…Log Cabin + sea = houseboat.
 Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
 What did one calculus book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
 What’s yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?… Zorn’s Lemon.
 Why did the algebra students throw bottles of hand cream across the classroom?… They were investigating projectile lotion.
 What do you get if you cross an elephant with a zebra?… Elephant zebra sin theta.
 Why is it that the more accuracy you demand from an interpolation function, the more expensive it becomes to compute?… That’s the Law of Spline Demand.
 Why was the student afraid of the yintercept?… She thought she’d be stung by the b.
 Who invented algebra?… A Clever Xpert.
 What do you call mall friends who love math? alge “bros”
 Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?… It’s too cubed.
 What do you get when you cross an algebra class with the prom?… The quadratic formal.
 What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?… Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector.
 Why is an algebra book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
 Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
 What is purple and commutative?… An abelian grape
 What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?… A line.
 Why did the relation need a math tutor? … It failed the verticalline test.
 How can a fisherman determine how many fish he needs to catch to make a profit?… By using a codratic inequality.
 Why did the imaginary number turn red?… It ran out of idrops.
 What does the little mermaid wear?… An algaebra.
 How does a ghost solve a quadratic equation?… By completing the scare.
 What is a proof?… Onehalf percent of alcohol.
 What did algebra math book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
 What is the definition of a polar bear?… A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation
 Why did all the apples in the fruit bowl know each other?… They were corerelations.
 Why was the matrix arrested?… Illegal entry.
 What do you call a rodent with babies?… A quadratic parent.
 What do you get when you cross a linebacker with a computer geek?… A linear programmer.