Marriage and Money: My Wife And I

Sprinkled throughout my ramblings are various mentions of my wife, mostly in passing. Because of these, I may have given a skewed perception of her as some stereotypical one-dimensional woman that doesn’t like math or shops all day. That’s my fault. Let’s nip that in the bud, shall we? First, she doesn’t like to deal with money issues because she’s female. She doesn’t like dealing with money because, well, she just doesn’t. Obviously, I do. While growing up, my mother was an active money manager, teaching me about frugality and saving money for the future. Without her, I doubt this blog would even exist.

Now that I’ve made that clear, let’s add some dimension to this “wife” character. :) Sure, she fits some stereotypes. But don’t we all? And what’s wrong with that, anyways? Here are the facts:

1. She likes fancy shampoos like Aveda. I use Pert Plus.
2. She reads The Superficial, while I peruse Gizmodo.
3. She is smarter than I am, and got better grades in school than me.
4. She has more inner drive than anyone I know.
5. Between the two of us, I am the one more likely to stay at home to take care of the kids while the other works. I’m cool with that.
6. She has a higher income potential than I do.
7. She doesn’t care about index fund expense ratios, or which bank has the best rate. I should teach her the basics, however.
8. She only reads this blog for any mention of her. (Hi Sweetie!)

But, most importantly, we are both aligned in our financial goals. It’s totally cliche, but the only relationship advice I can give is that communication is paramount. We have done a lot of talking about our future goals and agreeing on our priorities. Doing this makes so many extraneous things just drop by the wayside.

Our Priorities
Traveling to see all of this rock we live on
Spending time outdoors together (with our dog)
Good food from hole-in-the-wall eateries
An early retirement to do more of the above
Home ownership
Avoiding daycare for kids

Things We Place Less Importance Upon Now
Gadgets
New clothes
Good food from fancy white-tablecloth restaurants
Nice cars
Jewelry
Home size

Honestly, I love her because she is somewhat of an enigma. She’ll gossip about Tom and Katie, and then switch to debating the merits of some new government policy. She has many “feminine” qualities, but has a fierceness that surprises many around her. I enjoy meeting people who defy my expectations. The fashion model who is studying to become a neurosurgeon. The computer club geek who runs triathlons on the weekends.

In the end, we are a team. If I poke fun at her it’s because I’m being stupid. She has her strengths and I have mine. Although you’ll only have to put up with my writing, we are in this together.

(Okay, she says what I just wrote was really cheesy.)

Comments

  1. Thanks for the post. We’ll be adding this to our finances and relationships extravaganza.

  2. the superficial…you’ve got a good woman there!

  3. good sir, your wife sounds hot.

    and cheesy or not, it’s obvious you really love her.

    kudos to the priorities and list of (definitely) unimportant things

  4. My wife also doesn’t have much interests in managing our money and I tried to teach her a couple of times in the past, but failed. She does, however, involve in how to spend the money. I guess most PF bloggers are taking the lead in their family in managing their finances.

  5. I don’t think your wife is one-dimensional from things you write here. I’m sure she’s pretty cool and interesting, or else you wouldn’t have married her. But telling all about her on your blog is another thing entirely. Not everyone wishes to be known by blog. Just us crazy people who keep one in the first place. ;-)

    Thanks for the link change. I was going to alter the codex, but something happened which made my blog disappear, so I’ll keep the /mfc/ for now.

  6. Savvy Steward says:

    You are a lucky man. Cherish your wife.

    I’m looking forward to being married next year and feel blessed that my fiancee and I have the same priorities and financial goals.

  7. Hahahaha, this is just like me and my fiancee.

  8. The profile of your wife sounds about the same as mine. Does she get frustrated when you start talking about money? Mine does… Like you she is the smart one with much more income potential, we both have our 4 year degrees but I am the one at home with our son and you know what I love it. As long as your goals align in the end that is all that matters.

  9. We share some things in common. My wife is definately smarter than I am. Got way better grades in school and went a lot further (PhD vs my BA).

    I couldn’t agree more about good communication. Without it, you’re setting yourself up for failure.

  10. Sounds like a smart mother & a cool wife. We should all be so fortunate. No word of your father, tho. Did he make no significant contribution to your development?

  11. Good post. Glad to hear about her.

    Just wondering if you have a plan regarding kids? How many? When? Etc.

  12. No gadgets? How is this possible? :)

  13. wow that was really sweet ^_^

  14. My wife is exactly like your’s. She generally does not know how much money she has in her account.

    There is a difference though, mine also is passionate about clothes, fashion etc. She is not much into saving :).

  15. We’re sort of the opposite. My fiance is good at making money, I’m great at saving it. He gets raises, leaves his company for a better job; I decide to take a job for a little less money because it makes me happier, for a few less hours per week so I can keep the house clean.
    He leaves half his money in his checking account and puts the other half in one of those less-than-1% bank branch savings accounts, to keep himself from ever touching or thinking about touching it; I put in in the best Online Savings account I can find, open accounts for the bonus, do 0% balance transfers, make money on Prosper, and read MyMoneyBlog.

    What’s the same is that we’re definitely a team. He’s tickled pink that he can avoid housecleaning and having to figure out what to do with a steaming pan full of vegetables by covering more of the bills so I can afford to make less. And he gives me free rein to put his money in a better account, tell him how much to transfer where, et cetera.

    And our common goal of owning at least ten acres outside of a friendly little town out in the country; keeping dogs, cats, chickens and goats; eating fruits and vegetables we’ve grown ourselves.

  16. Your wife sounds like a gemini person!

Trackbacks

  1. [...] Marriage and money are tightly linked, and behind the scenes this blog has spawned many a discussion about frugality and priorities. This has helped us limit our excess spending by focusing our energies towards a common purpose. [...]

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